tony joking that he only married steve for his body and steve insisting that he only married tony for his money and then both of them staring lovingly into each other’s eyes until the ppl around them make gagging noises
When I worked at a fast food restaurant, I did a social experiment.
One day, I asked “do you want a girl toy or a boy toy?” No one went against gender roles.
The next day, it was “do you want a doll toy or a car toy?” Boys got dolls. Girls got cars.
Vocabulary is important.
Jessica Williams and Travon (one of the staff writers) do it again!
This is why white women can’t be in the natural hair movement
One time I was on a rollercoaster and a guy’s hat fell off during one of the loops but he caught it when we were right side up again, and i have to go my whole life knowing I’ll never be as cool as that guy.
#steve rogers: 99% snark 1% freedom
The next time a man starts yelling at you, cut him off and tell him you just can’t talk to him when he’s being so emotional.
I have done this and can confirm that is a LOT of fun to watch them implode afterward.
if you ever feel bad about yourself i want you to know that my catholic roommate once asked me what a pope was
she also asked me why guacamole tasted like avocados
she thought california was its own country (i literally have a list of shit she has said and i’m going to add to this every week)
john oliver is really not fucking around
"she shouldn’t have worn that skirt to the frat party."
"yeah, well, archduke franz ferdinand shouldn’t have been wandering around sarajevo in an open-top car, so i guess he was asking to be murdered, too."
I love how it always comes back to Archduke Franz Ferdinand…